I am the Hero of this Story

With only a year left until graduation, I have noticed that my life is beginning to change–rapidly and irrevocably. What used to be a priority in my life is no longer on my radar, what used to mean the world to me is no longer in my universe, and the little things that I thought I could “just worry about later” are now my main focus.

My priorities and my obligations have done a complete one-eighty, all beginning with a life-altering decision I made this past summer; I let go of someone who was everything to me. But with that release, I found myself. I realized that I was allowing myself to be held back because I was so afraid to accept that I had changed, and what I had needed a couple years ago is not what I need anymore. I was only allowing myself to be half of the woman that I knew I could be.

The decision to let that person go was one of the toughest I have ever made, and it took me a while to accept. But now, myself and my future are my first priority. I will never again allow something I want to be put on the back-burner because I decided to put someone else’s happiness before my own.

To anyone coming out of a relationship, here’s my advice to you: now is the time to be selfish. And I don’t mean be egotistical, I mean be self-serving. Don’t depend on someone else’s approval and stop looking for someone to save you. What it all really comes down to is you. You have to be able to be on your own and depend on yourself. Stop looking for that knight in shining armor and be your own hero. When you’re able to do that, nothing and no one can stop you from becoming the person you have always dreamed of being.

You want to apply for that job in Australia? Do it. Don’t let anything, or anyone, stop you.

You were offered your dream career across the country? Go. Stop worrying about what you may be leaving behind and start focusing on everything you are gaining.

Stop being so damned determined to keep your life in perfect order, and more importantly, stop trying to force a place in your life for people who do not fit there anymore. When you are at a place in your life that you are undeniably happy with, the right people will be there with you. But this goes both ways; don’t allow someone else to hold you back, and don’t allow yourself to hold someone else back. If they need to let you go, then let them. I promise you, someone else will find their way into that spot in your life.

It’s okay to grow and it’s okay to change. Stop fearing for the future and be selfish. Be selfish with your time, with your money and with your thoughts. And allow others to do the same.

I am the hero of my story, and you are the hero of your own.

 

feature photo credit: beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com

 

New Mom, New Dream, Different Story.

Jessica Merkt and her son, Landon.
Jessica Merkt and her son, Landon.

As the end of the school year approaches, soon-to-be graduates begin to take their last steps as college undergraduates.

Throughout the year, a number of students in the class of 2014 stood out more than all the others; Jessica Merkt is among that population of outstanding students.

In 2011, Merkt graduated from Fort Zumwalt South in the top 25 of her class with a 4.4 GPA. She was in the student council and a member of the National Honors Society.

Merkt said her passion for education only increased as she entered college, despite the event that changed her life, and plans, forever.

“When I was halfway through my junior year, I found out that I was pregnant and would be due in October of my senior year of high school,” Merkt said.

“Like any other soon-to-be teenage mother, I was terrified and had no idea what to do. When I first found out I was pregnant, I feared that I wouldn’t be able to attend college and I would have to settle for a minimum wage job for the rest of my life, Merkt said.

“I also worried that I would not be a good mother because I was so young and had little experience with kids other than babysitting my neighbors. My saving grace was my amazing and supportive family and friends.”

Regardless of the stereotype that is placed on teen mothers, Merkt said she remained focused and determined to make her situation the best experience possible. With the help and support of the people around her, Merkt said she did just that.

After having her son, Landon, Merkt said she made the decision to attend Lindenwood University instead of Mizzou, since Lindenwood is only 15minutes from her home.

“While I am at school, Landon attends a daycare called HOPE Ministries, which offers low cost daycare to teen mothers that are choosing to pursue their education,” Merkt said. “HOPE has been a godsend and one of the main reasons that I am able to attend school.”

While Landon is at daycare, Merkt said she focuses on keeping her 4.0 GPA and plan of graduating college in three years. However, Merkt said this lifestyle demands a strict routine.

“Graduating in three years has been tough,” Merkt said.

“There have been a lot of all nighters and sleep deprivation. I practically run on coffee. My 21 credit hour semester was a killer.  On a typical day, I wake up at 5:30 a.m. to get myself ready. Then, I wake Landon up at 7 a.m., get him dressed and feed him breakfast. Then, I take Landon to daycare and head to Lindenwood. I usually am either in class or work and learn from about 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Then, I pick Lan up from daycare, feed him dinner, play with him and put him to bed around 7:30 p.m. Then, the homework begins.”

Curtis Billhymer, a public relations professor at Lindenwood and one of Merkt’s favorite teachers, said that Merkt is a student that is consistently standing out.

“Jessica [Merkt] is a good example of that rare individual who defies the odds, chooses to create for herself the discipline necessary to realize her strengths – to create her own opportunities and make the most of them,” Billhymer said. “To be old fashioned about it, she has character.”

Apart from taking classes, being a mother and working a part-time job, Merkt also works in the Career Center at Lindenwood.

The Director of the Career Center, Dana Wehrli, said that Merkt is an outstanding individual.

“I have known Jessica [Merkt] for the past three years. I consistently find her to be extremely conscientious, mature, bright and personable. As a student worker in the Career Center, I observe Jessica to be eager and willing to give 110 percent to all tasks and projects assigned,” Wehril said.

“She has consistently been on the Dean’s List and further demonstrated a commitment to her professional goals by completing a summer internship with Ronald McDonald House Charities. Overall, she is an outstanding individual. Her organizational and analytical skills are exceptional. Jessica’s interpersonal skills are well developed and her ability to conduct herself in difficult situations is admirable.”

Friend and roommate Jennifer Nickerson said she is constantly inspired by Merkt.

What the future holds for Merkt

Merkt will graduate this May and go on to intern for Think Tank, a public relations and marketing firm based in Glen Carbon, IL.

However, Merkt said her dreams do not stop there.


Even with her past life experiences and obstacles, Merkt said she knows that her future is bright for her and her son and as long as she has her loyal and loving support system, she said she can handle anything.

As for Merkt and her son, she said that his happiness and their relationship are most important.

“I want the kind of life for my son that I had growing up, minus the surprise pregnancy,” Merkt said.

“I want him to be able play any sport he wants, pursue any hobby he would like and go to any college he wants. I want us to always be close. The biggest thing I want Landon to be able to do is pursue his dreams and value education as much as I do.”

feature photo credit: kickofjoy.com

“How-To” make Jill happy and do well in the blogging world

As a student, it is essential to get to know your teachers.

More importantly, it is essential to understand what makes them happy. This is important because good student+happy teacher=passing grade. Pretty significant, right?

You could go the whole “teacher’s pet” route. So if that’s more your style then you can stop reading and just watch the video below:

But if you want to go the more personal route, then continue reading.

For starters, it is important to point out that all professors are unique, and different professors appreciate different things. Therefore, it is vital to understand that you need to get to know every professor on an individual basis.

However, there are some basic qualities that every professor loves.

A Little Bit of This, a Little Bit of That

All professors appreciate when you show up to class on time. Not only that, but when you show

photo credit-keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
photo credit-keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

up and pay attention. 

Unlike Jill, many professors won’t appreciate you having your phone and computer on with multiple social networks up. So unless you’re taking online journalism, set down the technology.

Also, most professors appreciate it when their student is interested in what’s being taught. So it’s imperative to engage in the discussion and make your interest palpable; even if you’re faking it.

Another important behavior that makes professors happy is when their students SHUT UP. Most classes are lecture based which means that students need to keep quiet.

And then there’s the whole “do your homework” thing but that shouldn’t be a surprise.

Virtual Achievement 

If you are unsure about what Online Journalism really is, click here.

In online journalism, Jill requires us to write multiple blog posts; and these posts come with requirements. You want Jill to be happy? DO ALL THE REQUIREMENTS.

They are as followed:

  • Hyperlinks- add at least two of these into every story you write. This way, you are interacting with other sites as well. And Jill likes that. The more interaction, the better.
  • Photos- photos galore! Fill your posts with photos (tastefully). It makes the post more fun to look at and interesting to read. But make sure to try and use your own photos. And always caption and tag them.
  • Videos- At some point, readers want to take a break from reading. That’s where videos come into play. Allow the reader to just sit back and relax. Just make sure the video is relevant and interesting.
  • Subheaders- Subheaders break up the text and make your story more reader-friendly. A giant block of text is unappealing and overwhelming. Multiple paragraphs and subheaders make the post more attractive and inviting.
  • Make it Interesting- The best way to make a blog post interesting, is to care about what you’re writing. Blogging isn’t like writing a news story. You can have opinion and bias and emotion. So use it all. Get invested in your story and make the reader care.

After including all the necessary components of a blog…talk to Jill. Ask any questions, talk to her about any technological difficulties…just talk to Jill.

Like I said before, professors like when students show interest. Jill likes it when students interact. So don’t be afraid to talk to her about what you are writing.

Jill will help anybody who comes to her. She has never once turned me down, and she will give you more time on an assignment if you come to her with problems.

Just be honest, dedicated and follow the blog guidelines.

Future students, you’ll be just fine.

 

 

feature photo credit: stemcollege.wordpress.com

Virtual Reality

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This semester I took one of my favorite classes so far in my schooling career–online journalism. It was also one of the most stressful classes. Ever. The workload was incredible, the amount of media sites I had to make accounts for was overwhelming and the technological issues made me want to destroy my precious MacBook–who isn’t to blame for anything.

With all the times I have wanted to skip class, give up and just scream…I have to admit that this is one of the only classes I’ve ever had that I can actually say I have learned something I will use for the rest of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I have found many classes beneficial, but this one was different.

So, what did I learn you ask? Well, where do I start?

At the Beginning

The first day of class, Jill, the professor, said I was required to open a Gmail account. But why? I mean I had Earthlink so why can’t she just email me from there. It’s just email so there’s no difference, right? WRONG. Number 1: The Importance of Google…everything. That is the first thing I leaned. How I have gone so long without it, I will never know. But now that I have it, I will never go back and I cannot see myself using something else. Google has something for everything and will connect people to one another in every way possible. Kudos, Google.

One of the other things I learned is important to every journalist and I felt silly not taking it this seriously before this class. Number Two: Read Up. I never really took the time to read up on other journalists work because I thought what I had to say mattered enough. Selfish, I know. But I’m not like that anymore. Now, all I do is sit down and read other articles and blogs, and that has made me a better writer by far.

Something else I learned is the importance in trying new things. Number 3: Prezi Prez.What even is Prezi? I don’t know. PowerPoint was my weapon of choice. But Prezi was the requirement for a presentation I had to do. But now I’m a master and I find PowerPoint far too boring.

Stuck in the Middle

Throughout the duration of this class, the students were required to write a number of blogs. Although time consuming, I loved it. Number 4: Blogging Fool. As a journalist, I have to learn to write consistently and always in a creative way. So I became blog obsessed and when I don’t write at least once a day, my day isn’t complete.

Here is a video about how to start up your first blog!

I hate social media. I hate Facebook and Twitter and Instagram. I think there’s a sense of arrogance about it and I never really enjoyed taking part in it. I thought it was irrelevant. Boy was I wrong. Number 5: Swamped by Social Networks. I had to get and Instagram and I had to reactivate my Twitter. At first I was annoyed because I thought it was a waste of time. Until Jill gave the class a multitude of news sites to follow. And now I have joined the rest of society and I’m addicted. But unlike most people who just consume unimportant information. I consume and create information that effects me and my life.

Every week we were required to read a chapter; but one in particular stood out to me. Number 6: Stay Involved. I can’t remember the actual title of the chapter and the book is somewhere in the house and I’m too comfortable to look for it. Anyway, this chapter detailed reasons why journalists not only need to read other people’s work, but to get involved in it. Read, comment, discuss. Build a community and eventually, my own work will become more popular.

Almost There

This class mandated a multitude of components in the stories I wrote. From photos and infographics, to videos and audio interviews. Although confusing at first, I underestimated the importance of them. Number 7: Spice Up Your Life. Or, ‘Media Up Your Blog.’ Online journalism allows me to do so much more with my stories than print does. I can make them mIMGP0015ore interactive and interesting, and I cannot fathom posting a story without at least one of those components. To prove my point, here’s a pretty picture I took when I was in Italy for the summer. I could show you a picture of the Colosseum or some recognizable Italian structure…but this carousel was one of my favorite parts of Florence:

One of the most important lessons I learned occurred near the end of the semester, when I was just about done and yearning for summer vay-cay. Number 8: The importance of a Creativity Enhancer. I was done. My head needed a break and I didn’t want to do any more school work. Every student knows that feeling of seriously contemplating dropping out of school. So during this time, my creativity was shot and I had a never-ending streak of writer’s block. Therefore, I needed to find a away to get those creative juices flowing. Thank you online journalism and the overwhelming workload. Because of you I have formed a writing routine: laptop, home-cooked meal, wine and John Mayer. Hallelujah.

One of the final things I learned is probably one of the toughest adjustments for an aspiring journalists. Number 9: Get In..or Out… of the Zone. Get out of your comfort zone. Better yet, don’t have one. As a journalist we have to be comfortable confronting all types of people at any time of the day.

Back to the Beginning

I love to write. Most importantly, I love writing what I want and when I want to write it. I hate being told what’s expected of me because I’ve always believed that as long as I exceed my own expectations, then I am doing alright. So with this mentality, I have never been a fan of being told what I need to write about and when it needs to be done. Though I do all my assignments, I don’t always enjoy them.

Because of this, I have been writing this blog just waiting for it to be the end so I can say I’m done. But…as a really do reach the end, I realize that this is my last lesson. Number 10: Journalism never ends. This class doesn’t end with this blog and expectations don’t end with this class. I need to remind myself that just because something comes to a close, does not mean it ends; because those lessons follow me wherever I go.

So, as I embark on my last summer as a college student and the final year before I enter the real world, I’m going to go back to the beginning. 

“I gotta have roots before branches; to know who I am before I know who I wanna be.” – Room for Two

 

Feature photo credit: soundcloud.com

Take a Hike

Weldon Springs Hiking Trails

Located down South HWY 94, about 20 minutes from Lindenwood campus, lies 385 acres of vast woods, rugged riverbanks, croplands, fishable lakes and hiking trails.

The trail splits into two directions. After 3 miles of hiking, one can either follow the Lewis Trail, which is a total of 8.2 miles until the end, or the Clark Trail, which is a total of 5.3 miles. Other trails include the Lost Vally Trail, which is 11 miles, and the Hamburg Trail, which is 6 miles.

Sam Hofheins, a first-time hiker, said that his experience at the Weldon Springs Clark Trail in one to remember.

“I have never really been hiking before,” Hofheins said. “But I really enjoyed it. It’s not just walking around in the woods; it’s really cool to be able to hear all the sounds around me and not hear cars are sirens or people talking.”

Hofheins said that he is definitely willing to go back.

“I am going to be at Lindenwood all summer taking classes so I’ve been trying to find things to fill my time. Hiking is definitely on my list now and I can see myself spending a lot of time there this summer.”

The Weldon Springs Conservation Area offers other various activities as well.

Other than hiking, people can fish, hunt, camp, bird watch and even go boating.

After hearing about all of the exciting and different activities offered at the Weldon Springs Conservation Area, Jennifer Nickerson is eager to take part.

Nickerson says she believes this is a different and rewarding pastime.

“I would much rather be outside exploring than sitting around the house all day,” Nickerson said. “The coolest part? It’s free! It won’t cost you a thing to go hiking and you get so much more out of it than just lounging around. It would be so much fun with a group of friends.”

Throughout the past few years, the amount of hiking participants has been steadily increasing. Below there is chart that shows that increase from year-to-year.

How to Stay Safe

Kara Mayer Robinson, a writer for WebMD, shares hiking tips to stay safe while our doors.

“Start slow. A short, local hike is best for beginners. Gradually work up to trails with hills or uneven terrain.

Bring a buddy. It’s best not to hike alone at first, especially on unfamiliar or remote trails. A partner or group can help you navigate and assist if you get hurt. As your skill level improves, you’ll feel more comfortable going solo.

Know before you go. Familiarize yourself with the trail map. Check the weather and dress and pack accordingly. If storms are a possibility, rethink your plan.

Use common sense. Follow marked paths and trails. Avoid contact with questionable plants and animals.

Get into a groove. On the days you can’t make it to the trails, power-walk on a hilly terrain while carrying various degrees of weight in a backpack — it will keep your hiking skills and fitness level on track.”

For more information on the Weldon Springs Conservation Area and the activities it offers visit, visit http://mdc4.mdc.mo.gov/applications/moatlas/AreaSummaryPage.aspx?txtAreaID=7404

Selfie-Obsessed

The Act of the Selfie

Selfies have been taking the world over by storm. For those of you who do  not know, Urban Dictionary says “selfie” means, “A picture taken of yourself that is planned to be uploaded to Facebook, Myspace or any other sort of social networking website. A picture that is usually accompanied by a duckface or any other kind of unnatural expression; usually involves looking in another direction than the camera.”

According to Jessica Merkt, Instagram in always the “go-to” when you’re feeling the need make yourself look good.

“Choosing the right filter is a serious job,” Merkt says. “But I think most people can tell when a photo is real or when there’s a filter involved. Filters make everyone look better, that’s why they use them. You can’t take photos like that too seriously, but it’s always nice when a filter makes you feel pretty.”

How Selfies Can Result in Catastrophe

For obvious reasons, people do not advertise their negative traits on social media and they will not post unflattering photos on Instagram. Because we are in need to control how we are viewed by others, we are strict about what is found about us on social media.

However, we are often fooled by others who post photos, specifically selfies, that many times invoke feelings of envy.

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Sarah Boofer taking a selfie while enjoying a cookie

“Almost every time I go on Instagram I am in awe of some of the stunning photos my friends and celebrities post,” said Sarah Boofer, an avid consumer of social media. “It takes me a while to realize that they are using a filter and that what I am seeing has been altered.”

Like many others, Boofer realizes that her sense of time has been altered as well.

“I continue looking at others and I lose my sense of time even though I know most of what I see is not entirely real. I don’t really post selfies unless I want to show a new hair color or something like that. I think there’s something cocky about selfies, not everyone want to look at your face as bad as you think they do.”

Consumers like Boofer  and Merkt have a difficult time remembering to differentiate between what is “the perfect tan” and what is the X-Pro II effect.

“Everyday I say ‘she looks amazing!’ but then I have to remind myself and say ‘she looks amazing…with that filter!'” Merkt said.

According to the Chicago Tribune, even the amount of followers plays a role in the importance of the consumer.

Social networker Mohammed Gol says, “If someone has more friends than you do, then you think that he’s more popular or that people like him more.”

While selfies are important in the social media world, the amount of people consuming them is what really matters. Because of the need to consume and view these photos, and the desire to have others consume yours, depression linked to Instagram is on the rise due to the fact that people comparing themselves to one another is constantly increasing.


 

How To Prevent Possible Depression

According to Kelsey Sunstrum, a writer for Psych Central, there are three main ways a consumer can work on treating and preventing depression caused by social media:

  • Take the time to unplug from technology and social media accounts everyday.
  • When faced with social media-induced self-loathing, confront your negative thoughts and question their origin and validity.
  • If you’re drawn to social media during times of boredom, ensure you have something to distract yourself, such as a book or fun phone app.
    iphone-off
    photo credit cnet.com

The Code of the Selfie: Reality vs. Filter

Boofer offers advice for people who have a hard time telling the difference between reality and filters. “I always have to remind myself that what I am seeing is not real. I can say ‘wow look how gorgeous he/she looks in this picture!’ and I’ll mean that because they do. But I can’t take it seriously. Instagram is for entertainment most of the time and selfies are no different. It’s really important for people not to trust everything they see to be real or else it will break them.

“You need to get rid of that source of negativity or else you will be consumed with wondering why you don’t look like them or you’ll become obsessed with trying to.”

The Selfie Code:

Spend however long you want taking the perfect selfie and use your favorite filter that gives you that flawless glow.If it makes you happy, do it. And do it again until your entire profile is filled with photos enhanced by the Mayfair filter. Just remember, everyone else is doing the same thing. 

 

feature image photo credit: www.digitalinformationworld.com

“Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus” stirs response

What is this about?

Jefferson Bethke is most well known for his YouTube video Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus.

Most of his videos, if not all, revolve around God and his teachings in the Bible. Most importantly, he is adapting those teachings and applying them to the modern world.

These videos have created an immense amount of controversy as they have been circulating around the Internet; but non-more than the video mentioned above.

This video is a poem Bethke wrote that suggests that religion has the teachings of Jesus all wrong.

The most popular quote in this video is, “the church should not be a museum for good people, it should be a hospital for the broken.”

While some people agree with his ideas…

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…Others find his beliefs to be offensive and ignorant.

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Praise for Bethke

However, Caitlin O’ Toole, a young adult who was born and raised Catholic,  seems to side with the group that agrees Bethke is modernizing the Bible in the right way.

She says that she agrees with nearly everything that Bethke said.

“I used to describe myself as religious growing up. As I grew older, I became more aware that I truly do not agree with many of the things that my religion preached. Homosexuals and divorcees are looked down upon. Religion preaches to love our brothers and sisters, but there seem to be restrictions on the ones that do and don’t deserve our love. Why do there have to be so many rules? God still loves everyone even though they sin, so why is the focus on the hate?

O’ Toole offers many questions that no one can really seem to answer; they are only able to speculate. She also agrees with Bethke and believes that the church has, in a way, become corrupt; and has become more of a business rather than a temple for worship.

“[Organized religion] has to get by somehow, and that is through donations. But why do they need to constantly grow and receive more and more amenities? Jesus taught us to live modestly. There are people who do not have amenities at all, or even the basic needs for any man. They are the ones that are in need of the donations.”

Backlash

On the other hand, some Christians have not taken the popularity of Bethke’s video very well.

Father Claude Burns made a response to the video by creating his very own, and by using the same aesthetics and tone that Bethke used.

He writes below the video, “The purpose of this video is to do a response from a Catholic perspective, in a spirit of love, but also with a spirit of passion to defend our Mother the Church. The things that are said are not meant to offend, but we do have to be direct about what we believe and what we stand for.”

This video has resulted in some controversial  discussions as well.

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Regardless of one’s belief and own ideas on this topic, not one person can deny the fact that religious dissension will never subside.

 

Eyes Wide Open

 

Deborah Horan

Horan is a renowned journalist who spent the majority of her career overseas covering occurrences in the Middle East.

She returned back to the states in 2001 where she soon joined forces with the Chicago Tribune. However, she continued to report on the on-goings in the Middle East. More specifically, the Muslim immigrant community and the war in Iraq.

Since 2002, she has been a Woodrow Wilson Visiting Fellow, as well as a teacher about the Middle East and journalism at small liberal arts colleges through that program.

_______________________________________

This is just a very short summary of the extraordinary life that Deborah Horan has lived.

When she came to Lindenwood to speak to journalism students about her career, I was completely ignorant as to what to expect. Admittedly, I did not do my homework and research her before she came to my class.

And honestly, I’m glad I didn’t because it would have ruined the surprise. I’m not sure what I was thinking before the speech but I sure as hell wasn’t prepared to be as affected as I was. But maybe not for obvious reasons.

However, Deborah mentioned many aspects of becoming successful journalists. One main point was that you have to take risks. You have to be willing to put yourself out into the world and be willing to fail before you succeed.

Another point is that to be a journalist, you cannot be afraid. In order for Deborah to get her hard-hitting stories in the Middle East, she had to face an incredible amount of danger, and she had to take proper precautions. Most importantly, blending in.

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However, if you don’t want to be a journalist who reports on life in the Middle East then Deborah had some advice for that as well. As journalists, we need to find our niche.

Anyone can be a journalist, but if we want a successful career then we need to find something we are passionate about and become experts on it. Whether it’s cars, food, fashion, beauty, politics or music, journalists need to be able to offer something new and exciting in order to be respected.

 

Aftershock

Once Deborah took her leave, I was consumed with thoughts and impressions.

One of her ending comments was, “you need to decide what’s important, and go for it.”

This women has had a commendable life. A life filled with adventure and danger. Not to mention, an immense amount of satisfaction.

She traveled all around the world and met a countless number of people. She learned about diverse cultures and even learned how to speak Arabic.

Deborah made a difference in the world as a result of the life she has chosen to live.

Watching her speak and detail her story made me think I want to make a difference, I want to have an impact on someone’s life. But whose life shall I impact?

This is the question that has kept me sleepless at night.

Deborah has had an extraordinary life. But in order for her to have such a successful career she had to give up so much. She left her friends and family for 8+ years.

I cannot help but think, what is more important? Your dream job? Or your dream life? And can they coexist? And if they can’t… how do you choose?

I have known forever that I want to travel; and after spending an unforgettable summer in Italy I know that there is so much more I want to see. I would love a career that could take me there.

However, what if the love of my life can’t come with me.

What if my family begs me to stay.

What if I miss out on adventures calling my name from across the world.

How do I decide on what’s most important.

I have been thinking about this so much that I have a permanent migraine. I am graduating in a year so it is about that time I need to start figuring my life out.

After much thought, I cannot imagine a life without love and family. If I can have both my dream career and a loving and happy personal life, then I would say I hit the jack-pot.

But a life without love would not be living to me. And I am far too selfish to not want that love immediately. My career can follow after; I have no doubt in my mind that I will someday get there.

After all, when I’m on my death bed I want to have someone I love holding my hand; when that time comes, I won’t want or care to hold the pages documenting my career.

So yes, I want to make a difference. I want to have an impact. But before I target the universe, I think I’ll stick with my own little world.

 

header photo credit: www.executive-communication.com

 

I don’t “I Do.” Do I?

Marriage. In short, I never believed in it. I thought it was a pointless and unnecessary idea because who really wants to spend thousands of dollars to show that you’re committed to someone? Isn’t a verbal commitment enough? Are you really that insecure that you need to make a huge show of your relationship just to get a signed document stating that your significant other “belongs” to you? By now, all those people you would want at your wedding and witness your removal from the single life probably know you’re in love…at least I would hope so.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve always thought. But for some reason about a year ago (okay there is a reason, but that’s a story for another time), the idea of marriage stopped seeming so purposeless and started to have some meaning to it. As a girl, if a guy loves you, you want him to show it, right? You want to have a symbolic meaning behind your relationship. You want a title that stands for something more; rather than just telling people, “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.” What’s so wrong with that?

Since birth, girls are brainwashed with the idea of a Prince Charming and a perfect ending. We watched (and most likely still continue to watch) countless numbers of Disney movies that portray a romantic love story. Yet, we tend to ignore all the obstacles that stand in the way of that love. We happily overlook the malevolent queens, the fire-breathing dragons, the evil sorcerers and even the wicked stepmothers who take up over half the movie. No, we only notice the man that sweeps the woman off her feet; and we only remember the happy ending. Therefore, as we grow up we prepare ourselves for our Prince Charming and use Pinterest to plan that special day. However, we neglect reality and forget to prepare ourselves for the heartache and trying moments that test our strength. When those moments occur, we all too often complain about why the guy can’t be ‘like this’ or be ‘like that,’ or why couldn’t he just say ‘this’ instead of saying ‘that.’ We expect our man to be like Prince Charming; tall, dark, handsome and with zero faults. It’s an extreme wake-up call once we realize that could never happen.

In my opinion, before one starts dreaming up their fairytale wedding, they first need to step out of their dreamland and face reality. It is essential to understand that just because a person isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean a relationship can’t be. Take the faults as they come and have faith, and come to terms with the fact that no one could ever be perfect; but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be your own flawless Prince Charming.

So, in the midst of my hypocrisy, I started to understand why the idea of marriage seemed so appealing. If you can make it to the point of marriage in a healthy and loving relationship despite all the ups and downs, it really is a happily ever after, isn’t it?

 

Above photo Courtesy: www.bubblews.com

simplify what should already be simple…

 

 

Relationships have their ups and downs. But in my opinion, a relationship should never be work. It is not that difficult to show the person that you are with that you care. And if it is, then you are most likely in the wrong relationship and need to get the hell out.

In my experience, there are 5 main things both men and women should do in order to be in a healthy and happy relationship.

 5 rules to keeping your man:

1. give him his space

2. communicate and trust him

3. love him

4. do not cheat

5. don’t ask for too much

 5 rules to keeping you girl:

1. treat her like a princess

2. compliment her

3. never ignore her

4. return her calls and texts

5. protect and respect her

 In my humble opinion, this is the only way a relationship can thrive. Both sides need to do their parts, and when only one side is working at it, then only that one side will end up getting hurt. And if you happen to be on that one side that is giving up their heart and soul for the one they love, but it is not being returned… then you have two options: bring it up and talk it out, or end it before you get pulled in deeper.

It is NOT complicated people. 

 

above photo courtesy: manifestmylove.com