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I don’t “I Do.” Do I?

Marriage. In short, I never believed in it. I thought it was a pointless and unnecessary idea because who really wants to spend thousands of dollars to show that you’re committed to someone? Isn’t a verbal commitment enough? Are you really that insecure that you need to make a huge show of your relationship just to get a signed document stating that your significant other “belongs” to you? By now, all those people you would want at your wedding and witness your removal from the single life probably know you’re in love…at least I would hope so.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve always thought. But for some reason about a year ago (okay there is a reason, but that’s a story for another time), the idea of marriage stopped seeming so purposeless and started to have some meaning to it. As a girl, if a guy loves you, you want him to show it, right? You want to have a symbolic meaning behind your relationship. You want a title that stands for something more; rather than just telling people, “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.” What’s so wrong with that?

Since birth, girls are brainwashed with the idea of a Prince Charming and a perfect ending. We watched (and most likely still continue to watch) countless numbers of Disney movies that portray a romantic love story. Yet, we tend to ignore all the obstacles that stand in the way of that love. We happily overlook the malevolent queens, the fire-breathing dragons, the evil sorcerers and even the wicked stepmothers who take up over half the movie. No, we only notice the man that sweeps the woman off her feet; and we only remember the happy ending. Therefore, as we grow up we prepare ourselves for our Prince Charming and use Pinterest to plan that special day. However, we neglect reality and forget to prepare ourselves for the heartache and trying moments that test our strength. When those moments occur, we all too often complain about why the guy can’t be ‘like this’ or be ‘like that,’ or why couldn’t he just say ‘this’ instead of saying ‘that.’ We expect our man to be like Prince Charming; tall, dark, handsome and with zero faults. It’s an extreme wake-up call once we realize that could never happen.

In my opinion, before one starts dreaming up their fairytale wedding, they first need to step out of their dreamland and face reality. It is essential to understand that just because a person isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean a relationship can’t be. Take the faults as they come and have faith, and come to terms with the fact that no one could ever be perfect; but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be your own flawless Prince Charming.

So, in the midst of my hypocrisy, I started to understand why the idea of marriage seemed so appealing. If you can make it to the point of marriage in a healthy and loving relationship despite all the ups and downs, it really is a happily ever after, isn’t it?

 

Above photo Courtesy: www.bubblews.com

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simplify what should already be simple…

 

 

Relationships have their ups and downs. But in my opinion, a relationship should never be work. It is not that difficult to show the person that you are with that you care. And if it is, then you are most likely in the wrong relationship and need to get the hell out.

In my experience, there are 5 main things both men and women should do in order to be in a healthy and happy relationship.

 5 rules to keeping your man:

1. give him his space

2. communicate and trust him

3. love him

4. do not cheat

5. don’t ask for too much

 5 rules to keeping you girl:

1. treat her like a princess

2. compliment her

3. never ignore her

4. return her calls and texts

5. protect and respect her

 In my humble opinion, this is the only way a relationship can thrive. Both sides need to do their parts, and when only one side is working at it, then only that one side will end up getting hurt. And if you happen to be on that one side that is giving up their heart and soul for the one they love, but it is not being returned… then you have two options: bring it up and talk it out, or end it before you get pulled in deeper.

It is NOT complicated people. 

 

above photo courtesy: manifestmylove.com

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This I believe (Published in The-Leading Edge January 28, 2014)

No day but today… Everyone has their own reaction to this statement. Some might believe that this means they must live for the moment, the here and now. Others like me, might think there is a little more to it than that.

We all live for those moments that “take our breath away”, right? A moment like Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club when he throws his fist up in the air in triumph. In a movie like that, the misfits, outcasts, jocks, and popular kids toss out their titles and accept each other for the person they actually are despite the prejudices of their so called “friends”.  Living for the day is living a life being able to do exactly what one wants in the moment they are in disregarding past influences and heartbreaks. Moments like that are always worth the sacrifice even when they might be wrong.

Moments that cause the heart to stop are the ones that are worth the risk. Like John Cusack standing outside his love’s window with a boom box in Say Anything. Most would drive by him thinking “what a fool.” But those people never stuck around to catch the end of the story, did they? What about Drew Barrymore or Michael Vartan in Never Been Kissed? Or Julia Roberts and Adam Storke in Mystic Pizza? Every character was surrounded by people telling them it could never work. So what do they do?
They did it anyway. And in doing so, they proved all the doubters wrong. They knew that it would all be worth it; the tears and the pain would be worth experiencing the love and happiness. No matter how much time they had in front of them, or little time they had left, they planned on taking full advantage of it. Because let’s face it, opportunities like that do not come every day. Take any Nicholas Sparks novel; stories like A Walk to Remember prove that living in the moment and following your heart can lead down a road of complete bliss and satisfaction, no matter how broken the journey is.

Any girl is dying to say “just take me away” to the man of her dreams. But when that time comes, would you be ready to actually do it? Would you be willing to take that risk? Most would undoubtedly scream “yes!” without hesitation. But I dare you to actually go through with it. I dare you to forget your fears and to stop questioning yourself. Wipe out the logic in your head screaming at you to think things through, and for once, obey the whispers by your heart begging you to go for it.

No day but today. There is much more to it than just the words. Living without regrets and living for the moment is probably the most difficult, yet most rewarding way of life. A life like that is filled with love outnumbered by heartbreaks, and smiles outnumbered by tears. However, the regrets are outnumbered by lessons that will never be forgotten.

Maybe you’re in a relationship and it’s brand new. Maybe it’s not serious yet, but maybe it could be. Maybe it could be love. Real love. And in knowing that, you will be able to live your life the way it has always been meant to, by simply just living… and loving. Love until there’s nothing left. There is no greater way to live.

 

above photo courtesy: Quotation-Jonathan-Larson-regret-life-day-today-forget-Meetville-Quotes-189317

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The Importance of Alien Language

It is no surprise, or secret, that the intake of information has quickly been shifting from print to the internet. The most popular form of media is the use of a laptop and your cell phone. Because of this, journalists who have become masters of the pen now need to become skilled with the keyboard. To put in simpler terms: coding.

Now when I was a rugrat messing around on my parents computer and something popped up that resembled: <sfkhsfkjbl=5453m5boj=v=sgnkfbn=sfkhfakjfaf><afihbww=w94740f?>…. I merely thought that aliens were just trying to communicate. No big deal, right? I would just exit out of it and carry on with mindlessly clicking squares in Minesweeper. I never thought in a million years that one day I would not only have to learn how to decipher that jumbled mess, but I would have to learn to write my very own alien language.

But that is what the world of journalism is coming to. If people like me want to pursue a career of journalism, then we need to be able to adapt from paper to the screen; and be able to understand every aspect of the internet since it is quickly becoming our main platform.

But why coding? If I can use google to search for a blog where I can just type my thoughts and click “publish” then why should we care about learning how to code? Well, articles such as 6 Reasons Why Schools Should Teach Journalists Coding and Why I’m Learning Coding explain why.

In the first article the author lists 6 in depth reasons why coding should be required in a journalism curriculum. He lists 2 very important points; one being that journalists need to be able to offer their future employers more. Basically, if two people were applying for the same job as a reporter and your task was to write a story and one person decides to pull up their blog then cool, that’s awesome. way to be, reporter! However, if the other applicant whipped open Notebook and started writing in HTML coding then needless to say, the potential employer will be immensely impressed. As journalists, it is in our blood to know as much about everything that we possibly can. We are naturally curious (some may say nosy) and we are always willing and wanting to learn more about our craft. And in today’s society, if our stage is going to be the internet, we need to be masters of at least the basic computer skills.

Another point he makes is something that I mentioned earlier: times are changing. As journalists, we are very aware of what is going on around us. And we all know very well that the way our audience receives our information is changing. In a perfect world I could get a job at a magazine or newspaper and sit and design all-day long. Then a week or so later I could hold my masterpiece in my hands. Unfortunately, that won’t be the case for many years longer. Sooner or later, everything will be digital. Therefore, journalists need to become as tech-savvy as possible.

Still don’t believe me that coding is important? Well believe it because Mark Zuckerberg said so. 

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and so it begins

I have spent my entire life writing. I’ve kept countless numbers of journals, and lost them all. Except for a select few. Recently, I couldn’t help but wonder…how can I keep my thoughts safe? I would love to go back and read everything I felt and thought when I was 13 years old, but I can’t. So..what options do I have?

It was obvious that I had to start over, but this time I would do it right. About two years ago I started to type all of my thoughts onto a word document titled “you may say that I’m a dreamer.” and since then I’ve been able to keep track of everything, and carry it wherever I go on a handy flashdrive. But with this blog, now I can publish some of those things. Not only will others be able to read my writing, but see my photos and my designs too. Although, do others really want to see my stuff? I couldn’t help but think that maybe the world will hate what I have to say. HA. But like I care, right?

So, after careful consideration, this website will be a collection of my thoughts; past, present and future. Along with a portfolio of my work.

Without further adieu, welcome to my life.